Tracey L. Rogers
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Down, And Not Out

6/5/2017

9 Comments

 
“…And if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly.” Teddy Roosevelt
​

In what may have been an act on impulse (I’m not sure), I reached out to someone that I love and care for deeply; someone whom I have not been in contact with for months; someone that I desire to be close to and in relationship with, and asked if we could get together and talk. I was hoping to have the kind of heart opening out pouring that would demand I show up vulnerable, no longer experiencing the opposite of what I desire. The response I received was discouraging.
And so, my emotions continue to ping-pong in a fit of desperation for closure and clarity. I continue to ask the same old questions like a broken record: Why am I here? When will I learn? How do I surrender? I must work a little harder these days to get grounded, using trustworthy spiritual tools (astrology, prayer, ritual, pen and paper, music) that do the trick, even if temporarily. And when I get quiet long enough (which is hard with all the commentary racing through my mind), messages from a higher source can be accessed. I still have to sit with confusion, sadness, and uncertainty, as tears continue to fall. And I still can’t help but to hope for the best (I am a Leo after all).

Because my intention is to heal, transform, connect, and allow love to enter my heart without my own fears, blocks, and hang-ups getting in the way, I am certain that all will be well – that things will work out as they should. But sometimes (ok, most times), I am just too impatient to fully integrate the ancient wisdom I try to impart on my clients that encourages us to trust, let our Soul be our guide, and practice being. I want things to be right – right now. Hence the impulsive acts that don’t always go as intended (that would be my Aries Moon).

I share this with you, because sometimes life really is hard, and shit really does seem unfair, and you often do have to sit and wait for clarity and closure and fixing, and while you wait, life has to continue. You have to go to work, and pay your bills, and deal with family, and attend to your responsibilities, and nurture yourself, and continue to sit, and wait, and live. That is what the journey is all about. You may be in the trenches, but at least you are living the journey.

And so, I applaud YOU for being human. For being flawed with good intentions. For trying, really trying, even when it seems you failed, even when it seems futile. For loving, still. For remembering to take the good with the bad. For getting up in the morning. For being true and authentic even if misguided or confused. For simply being you.

And to you, with the discouraging response, I love you. I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.

Check your horoscopes to see what’s in store this week ahead, and don’t forget to read for your Ascendant sign, too.  
9 Comments
Cory Rogers
6/5/2017 07:51:31 am

This is a great read this week. It is exactly what my life consists currently and it is encouraging to know that I am not absolutely alone in my struggles. Thank you for this fellow lioness.

Reply
Tracey
6/6/2017 09:34:23 am

Thanks fellow lioness! You are absolutely not alone. It's one of those things, you know? Thanks for leaving your comment. No matter what's unfolding for you right now, I hope that you find peace today, in this moment, wherever you are. Much love!

Reply
Olivia
6/5/2017 02:51:08 pm

Tracey, I don't know any of the details of your relationship w/the one of the discouraging response but...it just may be that they have done you a favor...if they can't see your heartfelt vulnerability, the love you have in your heart and in your being well....sometimes a loss is a gain. I know it's hard to hear. And it may take years to come to this conclusion but I can tell you that I find myself in that position. And I rejoice to be in it! Much love!

Reply
Tracey
6/6/2017 09:35:58 am

Awww, thanks, Olivia! You are always encouraging me, and I really appreciate it! I am happy to just sit with what is right now without speculation, and will continue to live and heal as well. Thanks for awlays being so supportive! xoxo

Reply
Janene
6/5/2017 04:14:20 pm

This was beautiful Tracey and girl I feel you I must have an Aries moon too because I had a somewhat similar impulse expierence. While I expected to be disappointed because of things outside of my control sometimes life is hard and unfair. But I agree with you we are living our journey and showing up every day for it. Pain and all. Wishing you much love and happiness to come. I look forward to your newsletter every week. Thank you!!!

Reply
Tracey
6/6/2017 09:37:22 am

Thanks Janene! I'm wishing you much love and happiness to come, as well. It's one of those things where I know transformation is on the other side - it ALWAYS is, and I'll be just fine...and so will you...and everyone else :-) Love to you! xoxo

Reply
Kevin Quinn
6/5/2017 07:34:05 pm

I do love how you write. But you know that already. And I wish I'd been in a different place in my life when we worked together so that I could have learned more from you. Anyhow, the point is, every time I read something you've written, I get this intense feeling about life and I spend the next day or two trying to understand and apply. How do you not know that, at least for the moment, this is why you are here? You think it's just writing. I see your writing as the stuff that changes people's lives in so many positive ways. Please keep doing what you do best and know that I think you are one remarkable woman.

Reply
Tracey
6/6/2017 09:39:10 am

Geeze, Kevin - this made me a little weepy :-) It was the last thing I read before going to bed, and I do believe it's what contributed to a restful sleep. Thanks so much for leaving your comment, and for always being supportive. I think you are one remarkable man, and I enjoyed my time working with you! I hope you're well - xoxo

Reply
Sherry
6/11/2017 07:40:26 am

Tracey, I originally read this at the beginning of the week as it's my normal routine. Then, I could feel you because, I too, am a Leo. However after the events of this weekend, I was reminded of my horoscope and this week's empowerment blog. So I came back to read it again. Your words (For being flawed with good intentions. For trying, really trying, even when it seems you failed, even when it seems futile. For loving, still. For remembering to take the good with the bad. For getting up in the morning. For being true and authentic even if misguided or confused. For simply being you) were what I needed to read again and this time they resonated deep within me. My mom told me this weekend, after her words of wisdom, to toughen back up, to be the person that I am. I had to give myself permission to step back, feel the hurt by one but the love of many others and continue the journey. Thank you for allowing me to learn through you and I know God will bless you.

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