Only now am I able to articulate the heaviness in my heart over events in Orlando this past week, tears still waiting to fall because of grief that has been stuck in the pit of my stomach. Deep concerns for our world keep my thoughts on loop. I feel overwhelmed by one too many inconvenient truths. The longer I sit with this cringing discomfort, the more I am forced to acknowledge the shocking realization that I am truly afraid.
I will never comprehend violence or injustice of any kind. Such barbarity has been a part of our country’s history for centuries, and it is still not OK in 2016. Being killed in an act of terror is scary. So too is the ease with which someone fitting the profile of the Orlando shooter is able to purchase a gun. Even scarier, however, is the torment, pain, and self-destruction that rumbles beneath the surface of an individual capable of pulling off such a heinous act.
One inconvenient truth that I can’t seem to shake is that we all harbor torment, pain, and self-destructive behaviors that lead us to harm. Before you react in protest, I am not comparing all bad behavior with that of a mass murderer; the majority of us would never revert to violence or intentionally inflict pain. But as I raise my hand with an “oh yeah,” how many of you have ever been paralyzed with anxiety that left you unable to function in a right frame of mind? How many of you reading this blog has ever sought to wield power and control over others, or acted in haste out of fear? It is true that we each carry deep wounds that debilitate, and often negatively impact the ways we treat ourselves, and each other.
What lurks undetected in the depths of the human mind is what scares me the most. I am as much afraid of my own blind spots as I am of yours. Even more disconcerting is the collective trauma currently wreaking havoc around the world as a result of fears that lie dormant. You can see how it harms in a larger context when people deny that we live in an institution of racism, suffer from various phobias (homophobia, Islamophobia, xenophobia), and naively vote for elected officials that do not have our best interests on their political agendas. It is absurd at the very least – by definition, insane, as history continues to repeat itself.
I could not find words of hope or love or compassion to share on social media when the shootings in Orlando were reported. I was kept hostage by difficult questions: how can we love each other when so many people don’t love themselves? How can we know ourselves as a people connected, when we disown so many aspects of who we are as individuals? How can we be inclusive of others when we fail to integrate the disparate parts of our own personhood? I was left grasping for some semblance of hope.
Luckily, hope arrived just in time (as it always does), along with love and compassion from friends who brought me through my dark space. It is the same hope, love, and compassion that will bring everyone affected by this tragedy in to the light. My resolve was further lifted by filibusters on Capitol Hill that sought to bring about real gun reform; by people like my friend, a Scorpio, who proclaimed that the LGBTQ community of Mississippi was “going to make Jackson’s Pride event in 2017 amazing;” by the message that “love is love is love is love” made manifest with a rousing passion displayed by Lin-Manuel Miranda.
The Summer Solstice comes with a potent Full Honey Moon in the truth telling sign of Sagittarius. This full moon will peak at 29 degrees, the Anaretic or “fate” degree in Astrology that represents a cycle of completion. During this lunation, may the extended light of the Sun as it opposes the dark of the Moon be a reflection of our resilience. As we stand in unison for the betterment of the collective good, may we also have the courage to sift through the truth of our own broken pieces, so that we might identify a wholeness within that inspires wholeheartedness for all humanity.
Check your horoscopes for the week ahead, and don't forget to read for your Ascendant sign!
One inconvenient truth that I can’t seem to shake is that we all harbor torment, pain, and self-destructive behaviors that lead us to harm. Before you react in protest, I am not comparing all bad behavior with that of a mass murderer; the majority of us would never revert to violence or intentionally inflict pain. But as I raise my hand with an “oh yeah,” how many of you have ever been paralyzed with anxiety that left you unable to function in a right frame of mind? How many of you reading this blog has ever sought to wield power and control over others, or acted in haste out of fear? It is true that we each carry deep wounds that debilitate, and often negatively impact the ways we treat ourselves, and each other.
What lurks undetected in the depths of the human mind is what scares me the most. I am as much afraid of my own blind spots as I am of yours. Even more disconcerting is the collective trauma currently wreaking havoc around the world as a result of fears that lie dormant. You can see how it harms in a larger context when people deny that we live in an institution of racism, suffer from various phobias (homophobia, Islamophobia, xenophobia), and naively vote for elected officials that do not have our best interests on their political agendas. It is absurd at the very least – by definition, insane, as history continues to repeat itself.
I could not find words of hope or love or compassion to share on social media when the shootings in Orlando were reported. I was kept hostage by difficult questions: how can we love each other when so many people don’t love themselves? How can we know ourselves as a people connected, when we disown so many aspects of who we are as individuals? How can we be inclusive of others when we fail to integrate the disparate parts of our own personhood? I was left grasping for some semblance of hope.
Luckily, hope arrived just in time (as it always does), along with love and compassion from friends who brought me through my dark space. It is the same hope, love, and compassion that will bring everyone affected by this tragedy in to the light. My resolve was further lifted by filibusters on Capitol Hill that sought to bring about real gun reform; by people like my friend, a Scorpio, who proclaimed that the LGBTQ community of Mississippi was “going to make Jackson’s Pride event in 2017 amazing;” by the message that “love is love is love is love” made manifest with a rousing passion displayed by Lin-Manuel Miranda.
The Summer Solstice comes with a potent Full Honey Moon in the truth telling sign of Sagittarius. This full moon will peak at 29 degrees, the Anaretic or “fate” degree in Astrology that represents a cycle of completion. During this lunation, may the extended light of the Sun as it opposes the dark of the Moon be a reflection of our resilience. As we stand in unison for the betterment of the collective good, may we also have the courage to sift through the truth of our own broken pieces, so that we might identify a wholeness within that inspires wholeheartedness for all humanity.
Check your horoscopes for the week ahead, and don't forget to read for your Ascendant sign!
