“There is no greater battle in life, than the battle between the parts of you that want to be healed, and the parts of you that are comfortable and content remaining broken.” ~Iyanla Vanzant
I am embarrassed to admit that I have only just begun to really trust myself. I have always felt a sense of inadequacy with decision-making, and would too often defer to others – directly or indirectly – to call the shots. I would even put myself in unhealthy situations, causing intentional conflict with the hopes of influencing a certain outcome. In hindsight, this was manipulation; a ploy to place blame when circumstances changed, and events did not go as planned. It was easy for me to say, “that was their choice,” instead of holding myself accountable for my own actions and motives.
I am embarrassed to admit that I have only just begun to really trust myself. I have always felt a sense of inadequacy with decision-making, and would too often defer to others – directly or indirectly – to call the shots. I would even put myself in unhealthy situations, causing intentional conflict with the hopes of influencing a certain outcome. In hindsight, this was manipulation; a ploy to place blame when circumstances changed, and events did not go as planned. It was easy for me to say, “that was their choice,” instead of holding myself accountable for my own actions and motives.
My behavior has changed over the years, partly because I’m a bit wiser, but also because of a growing desire to create my life, which I can only do by following my heart. This entails that I be completely honest, and thus, vulnerable. The more I can be these things for myself, the harder it becomes to settle for what does not contribute to my happiness. It feels freeing to make choices that reflect inner truth, though there are times when I have to give my fears a pep talk, reassuring them that all will be well no matter what. I am learning to trust that I know what’s best for me, even when I do not know what to do. I am even learning to be OK with the real chance of me getting it wrong.
There are currently five planets above moving in retrograde motion: Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn and Pluto. If you read my blog regularly, you would know that a retrograde planet begs the need for us to pause and go within (and there are FIVE planets retrograde). Two of these planets will station direct within the next couple of weeks, which means we have a short window of opportunity to go deep and examine where we may lack trust in our own lives. Wherever that is for you, be open to the possibility that it is a lack of self-trust, and not circumstance. Be open to the possibility your Soul knows how best to proceed with all that is true, and go with it, just trust.
Check your horoscopes to see what’s in store this week ahead, and don’t forget to read for your Ascendant sign.
There are currently five planets above moving in retrograde motion: Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn and Pluto. If you read my blog regularly, you would know that a retrograde planet begs the need for us to pause and go within (and there are FIVE planets retrograde). Two of these planets will station direct within the next couple of weeks, which means we have a short window of opportunity to go deep and examine where we may lack trust in our own lives. Wherever that is for you, be open to the possibility that it is a lack of self-trust, and not circumstance. Be open to the possibility your Soul knows how best to proceed with all that is true, and go with it, just trust.
Check your horoscopes to see what’s in store this week ahead, and don’t forget to read for your Ascendant sign.
