I don't agree.
Every wound leaves a scar.
They're all over me.
They remind us where we've been,
And they teach us where to go.
If you haven't forgiven,
It's time to let them know.” My Brothers and I
“They say time heals all wounds.
I don't agree. Every wound leaves a scar. They're all over me. They remind us where we've been, And they teach us where to go. If you haven't forgiven, It's time to let them know.” My Brothers and I
2 Comments
"When all you see is your pain, you lose sight of me." ~God/Papa from "The Shack" Iyanla Vanzant wrote: “You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people. But until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them.” Her choice of words, “pull out the core of the pain,” strikes me the most. What does one do with that pain? How does one make peace with it? During any initial Life Coach session, I like to do what is called “emptying out.” I ask my clients a series of questions around the intentions they have set to live empowered lives, so that they might identify what could trip them up and get in the way...and it is always something. Time and time again, it comes back to fear. Fear of success, fear of loss, fear of failure, and the pain that comes with it. It is the pain of sitting through anxiety and uncertainty. The pain of our upbringing and social conditioning. The pain of our trauma from past experiences. The pain of outdated stories and narratives. It is always something. But at least my clients can name what that pain is; it is why they tend to be some of my best teachers. Once you name it, it gets easy, right?
No. Then you have you to acknowledge what triggers the pain. Where does it come from? What unconscious responses have been deeply ingrained that lead to my pain? What is it that forces us to neglect, numb, put off, hide away, or run when pain creeps in? Who taught us that, and how does it surface? Who would have thought that healing involved becoming intimate with pain in such a way? Paying attention to it. Watching it closely. Feeling when it has arrived, and then, nursing it. Imagine your pain like a small child; it does not need to be fed as much as it needs to be reassured, feel loved and secure. This involves being the adult – being your own parent – and setting some ground rules. It involves taking responsibility for the ways in which you respond to pain. It involves falling into trust. Maybe you don’t believe in a higher power, but I am sure you know the power of kindness. Maybe you find it hard to forgive, but I am sure you know the lightness that forgiveness can bring. Maybe you would prefer to play the role of victim, but I am sure you understand how this only perpetuates the roles of guilt and shame in our lives. Maybe the suggestion to take responsibility for how you respond to pain seems overwhelming. But I am sure you know that once you own your shit, you have the power to heal. Knowledge, and the understanding of such things, makes it easier to fall into trust. It is the kind of trust that reassures, no matter how hard you fall, you will always heal. Check your horoscopes to see what’s in store this week ahead, and don’t forget to read for your Ascendant sign, too. Whatever happened over the weekend courtesy of that Capricorn Full Moon is a precursor to what’s on the horizon come August. We’ve got back to back lunar energy commencing as early as July 23rd, with a New Moon followed by a Lunar Eclipse on August 7th, and a grand Solar Eclipse on August 21st. The Leo/Aquarius axis will be triggered (Aquarius will host the Lunar Eclipse in just a few short weeks), which means topics around creative self-expression and collective innovation will be themes. This could be good, or challenging, and it is where we are headed.
“This place where you are right now, God circled on a map for you…” ~Hafiz
Life can move forward now that Jupiter has stationed direct in the sign of Libra, and a Full Moon has peaked at this halfway mark of the year. So, what would you like to see happen next? As an Empowerment Coach, I have my own formula for manifesting what we desire the most, and it starts with setting an intention. The thing about intentions is that you can set one any time you want; I usually set at least one every day as I go through my morning routine. A ritual isn’t required, and while New Moons tend to be auspicious for intention setting, you do not have to wait until that time of the month. The only thing you must do when setting an intention, is believe in what is possible. “…And if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly.” Teddy Roosevelt
In what may have been an act on impulse (I’m not sure), I reached out to someone that I love and care for deeply; someone whom I have not been in contact with for months; someone that I desire to be close to and in relationship with, and asked if we could get together and talk. I was hoping to have the kind of heart opening out pouring that would demand I show up vulnerable, no longer experiencing the opposite of what I desire. The response I received was discouraging. On this day and all days, we each must soldier on in life and death for what is right and just and true. May it be so. In Memoriam ❤
On this Memorial Day, I remember the brave women and men who fought and died for our country; I remember the brave women and men who fought and died for black liberation in our country, a struggle that continues; “Everything in your life is a reflection of a choice you have made. If you want a different life, make a different choice.” ~Unknown
Gemini season is officially underway with the Sun’s ingress into the sign of the Twins. The planet Mars has been transiting Gemini too, adding buzz and excitement. Gemini is known for its versatility. With a reputation of being a jack of all trades, master of none, the energy of this Air sign is highly stimulating. It can be difficult to keep up with a Gemini; their thoughts are lightening quick, sharp, and witty. These people require a lot of mental activity, along with an outlet to share their most recent findings. That is why Geminis are also known to be fickle and chatty. Theirs is a nervous energy that leads to anxiety if not expressed. Thank you.
…thank you for allowing me to bear witness to your love during your couples’ astrology reading. Thank you for being vulnerable as I read your birth charts, and discussed the very personal aspects of your relationship. Thank you for your openness to receiving my insights, while recommitting yourselves to each other through a willingness to deepen your bond and connection. To the Cancer: You love your wife deeply. It was evident in the way you looked at her affectionately throughout our session; the way your eyes teared up when words properly conveyed the depth of your love, and the peace you found in seeing your spouse more clearly. To the Scorpio: You would do anything for your husband – anything. You love him fiercely; your pride in the man that he is let me know what to look for in my future husband. This week, I dare you to thrive.
If there is anything that Venus Retrograde has revealed to me over these past few weeks, it is that we often must carry with us conflicting realities, to draw conclusions incorporating many disparate parts that lead to a balanced and whole perspective. Your relationship partner, for example, is not perfect. S/he will indeed be flawed, characterized by both amazing and infuriating traits and attributes. It is inevitable that you will spar. It is inevitable that you will laugh. Ultimately, if this is a relationship that you can embrace even with its hardships, you might deem your imperfect union worthy of an investment – an investment that enhances your life in some way. “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end” ~Semisonic
I have experienced several endings this month, endings that, while long anticipated, have hinted at an important new cycle that is set to begin in my life. This is why I find myself advising clients to double down on faith; why the uncertainty I feel around not knowing what this new chapter entails brings great anxiety; why I am both excited and grieving; why my inner knowing feels calm and clear on what I must do to prepare and surrender to all that is being conjured on my behalf, similar to how a woman’s body knows exactly what to do prior to giving birth. |
Archives
December 2022
|